| "I won
it at bingo"
This guy had a very attractive
wife, who was always wanting clothes, jewelry, etc., but he
was not too well off. One day his wife came home with a diamond
neckless. The guy asked, "Where did you get that?"
His wife replied, "I won it at
bingo."
The next night she came home with a
mink coat. The guy asked, "Where did you get that?"
His wife replied, "I won it at
bingo."
The next night she came home with a
Mercedes Benz. The guy asked, "Where did you get that?"
His wife replied, "Look!! Don't
keep asking where I get my things!! Go upstairs and run my
bath for me!!"
His wife came upstairs to find a small
amount of water in the tub. The wife asked, "How come
you put so little water in the tub?"
He replied, "I didn't
want to wet your bingo card!"
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"Osama
Bingo party"
How do you break up Osama Bin Ladens bingo party?
Call B-52
Better than Bingo
A little old lady walked into the head
branch of the Chase Manhattan Bank holding a large paper bag
in her hand. She told the young man at the window that she
wished to take the $3 million she had in the bag and open
an account with the bank. She said that first, though, she
wished to meet the president of Chase Manhattan Bank due to
the amount of money involved. The teller seemed to think that
was a reasonable request and after opening the paper bag and
seeing the bundles of $1000 bills which amounted to right
around $3 million, telephoned the bank's secretary to obtain
an appointment for the lady.
The lady was escorted upstairs and ushered
into the president's office. Introductions were made and she
stated that she would like to get to know the people she did
business with on a more personal level. The bank president
then asked her where she came into such a large amount of
money. "Was it an inheritance?" he asked.
"No." she answered.
"Was it from playing the stock
market?"
"No." she replied.
He was quiet for a minute, trying to
think of where this little old lady could possibly come into
$3 million. "I bet." she stated.
"You bet?" repeated the bank
president. "As in horses?"
"No." she replied, "I
bet people."
Seeing his confusion, she explained
that she justs bets different things with people. All of a
sudden she said, "I'll bet you $25,000 that by 10:00
o'clock tomorrow morning, your balls will be square."
The bank president figured she must
be off her rocker and decided to take her up on the bet. He
didn't see how he could lose. For the rest of the day, the
bank president was very careful. He decided to stay home that
evening and take no chances; there was $25,000 at stake.
When he got up in the morning and took
his shower, he checked to make sure everything was okay. There
was no difference; he looked the same as he always had. He
went to work and waited for the little old lady to come in
at 10:00 o'clock, humming as he went. He knew this would be
a good day; how often do you get handed $25,000 for doing
nothing.
At 10:00 o'clock sharp, the little old
lady was shown into his office. With her was a younger man.
When he inquired as to the man's purpose for being there,
she informed him that he was her lawyer and she always took
him along when there was this much money involved. "Well,"
she asked, "what about our bet?"
"I don't know how to tell you this,"
he replied, "but I am the same as I've always been only
$25,000 richer."
The lady seemed to accept this, but
requested that she be able to see for herself. The bank president
thought this was reasonable and dropped his trousers. She
instructed him to bend over and then grabbed a hold of him.
Sure enough, everything was fine. The bank president then
looked up and saw her lawyer standing across the room banging
his head against the wall.
"What's wrong with him?" he
inquired.
"Oh him," she replied,
"I bet him $100,000 that by 10:00 o'clock this morning
that I'd have the president of Chase Manhattan Bank by the
balls."
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